Thursday, August 9, 2007

Turning 30

I thought this was some good insight into turning 30, or being in your 30's.

In this age, turning 30 isn't exactly easy Call it an end to my 20s meltdown. The past few years ushered in an unexpected personal wave of panic, doubt and a woe-is-me attitude. Despite all the goals I had accomplished, or thought I was supposed to accomplish, I suddenly began to question prior decisions and worry about those I had yet to make.

After all, my 30th birthday was just around the corner. And the thought of turning 30 didn't bring with it unbridled joy, but a feeling of dread.

Surely I wasn't about to enter one of the best decades of my life. So far, I had followed the script to the letter - college, career and marriage. With 30 staring me down, what road would I take next? At this milestone, was I truly where I wanted to be and doing what I wanted to do?

Where was the "30s for Dummies" book when I needed it?

Change is never easy, regardless of age. It seems, however, that I wasn't the only one grappling with this bizarre period. The economic downturn hasn't helped this crisis much for us Generation Xers.

People who vowed never to suffer the same fate as their parents are scrambling for work and accepting positions they would have scoffed at a few years ago. They didn't want to stick around long enough to get a pink slip or a customary gold watch, and yet they're being forced to reconsider more "stable" work.

They're mapping a different route, which sometimes leads them back home. That's scary when you've had your heart set on living your dream.

Whether self-inflicted or imposed by peers or parents, I believe there's an underlying expectation that you're supposed to have it all figured out by the time you're 30.

Maybe it's the increased competition that's so pervasive in our society. It's no longer acceptable to graduate high school and merely go to a college. You have to earn a 4.0 GPA, get an SAT score that's off the charts and apply to a prestigious university.

Then there's pressure to get into the best graduate or professional school, and land a job making a six-figure salary. Of course, you have to climb the ranks, buy a house (if you can afford one) and a cool car, and travel to remote corners of the world.

If you're lucky and the planets are aligned, you might find a mate and have a few kids. If you believed the hype back in the dot-com days, it seemed as if loads of people from my generation were striking it rich just in time to have all this and more.

The reality is that most of us were struggling just to keep up.

I suppose people in every generation feel they've drawn the short straw. Even so, the stakes seem a lot higher today.

At 30, my father had a secure job, a house and four children. My mother stayed home and went to work when I started school. Both had desires and dreams, but if they didn't achieve them by a certain time, they weren't labeled a failure. No one was keeping score.

Sure, my parents surpassed their parents. But by no means were they the best, the brightest and the wealthiest people at my age. To them, success meant doing their best given the cards they were dealt. They kept on going, despite setbacks and obstacles.

In the Internet age, young women and men have more options and opportunities. Perhaps those choices make life more complex and difficult to navigate. But these new challenges don't have to be crippling.

No one has all of the answers or reaches every goal. The important thing is to keep striving toward one.

So you're not where you thought you would be at 25, 35, 55 or 65? Everyone's life plan deviates off course at some point. What matters is that we make the most of the journey.

Now that I've turned 30, I'm no longer afraid of what's in store. Unlike a birthday present, life is not always neatly packaged and tied with a bow.

2 comments:

Mama Mia said...

Aren't you 34? Great thoughts! Don't be down on yourself. Your well accomplished and have everything that matters; A beautiful wife, darling daughters, a home "built" with many wonderful memories and talent that pours out of you! Knowone has everything figured out, it might just appear like they think they do!

Mama Mia said...

I thought this was Rich that wrote this but now I am thinking Tyra???